Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Melancholy...Only despair awaits....

somehow it feels like everything feels so futile. what a horrible way to end my first semester in uni. it was really stupid. it seems impossible to salvage my grades for that stupid module. i'm going to need some stellar marks for the finals just to bring it to a semi-decent grade.

sigh, don't really want to disturb my other friends. afterall, they are having their own fair share of stress from the exams.

everthing else for that module seemed to be going fairly decent as well. not to mention there are lots of imba crazy muggers who spoil the market by getting ridiculous marks and cause the average to be equally ridiculous. i really got pwned....did i self-pwn? maybe. probably.

perhaps i'm destined to be the bottom feeder. i was really astonished by their reactions. it's like....they already accepted their fate long ago. somehow it's no wonder that i landed in this dismal situation. i don't know, maybe i would have felt better if i was the one who is solely responsible for causing this plight. some people say i'm just unlucky. oh well. at least i've seen a grade that probably most people can't even fanthom throughout their entire uni life. lucky me. haha.

now i really feel useless. i'm not good at studying, not good at sports, can't do anything particularly useful....you could say lacking in every department eh?

it's a really sickening feeling that i don't know how many people will actually get to experience. everything seemed ok, then suddenly you get whooped by some people who don't really seem to care. you get taken down when they self-destruct. you know, like in pokemon. everyone gets knocked out. mass destruction. boom.

i don't even know how many people will see this. sigh. but people are probably too busy and already too stressed to want to care about it. i wouldn't want to trouble them either. haha.

some people are stressed even when they already have A's for everything. some people have the money for retail therapy to destress. some people are already very well prepared. can afford to take a day off.

at this point of time i haven't really found a way to console myself. maybe i was expecting too much in the first place....

No comments: