Doomed....Sometimes sh*t happens.

sigh...i'm really disgusted and confused and stressed out by the shock. how? what to do now.....there's option A and.....option B. each has it's own implications. i feel so jaded. and it was going fairly well too...it was a stupid mistake

i'm really lost for words. well, i'll sign off with a picture

Exams! Haven't really had one in a while...

hmm...i guess it's about time for an update here. well, been rather busy mugging for the exams which are coming up (first paper is in 2 day's time and the last paper is in 2 weeks). ok, at least they are nicely spread out. been doing some past year papers but i wouldn't really know if i got them correct. i guess it's just to get the feel so i won't freak out on the actual day.

after the exams it's going to be christmas! time to go shopping and destress and play more jubeat! 1 more rank to unlock Shining Star. almost there. it's about time i got the g-shock i've been eyeing for quite a while and also some other stuff. oh ya, more time for gym and running and such. but there's also going to be HO and trainings.

for those of you wondering, nope, i still have no idea how my group did for the accounting project. the results should be out by this week though.

ugly betty and heroes are back in their 4th seasons! heroes is a bit boring. haven't really see the breakthrough yet. betty on the other hand just keeps getting better. she finally gets a (slight) improvement on her wardrobe with a new hairdo and specs! the braces are also coming off soon. the scriptwriters have to complicate things as usual by throwing amanda into the picture and turning things into a bizarre love triangle with betty and matt. although amanda is still looking hot, i still think she should just back off. haha.

i guess that's all the time i have for now. cya later!

Holiday? I think not...

it's all over! i've submitted my IT project and biz law assignment! hell week is over! i'm free!.....NOT!

i wish that was the case but unfortunately it's not. i'm sure many people looked foward to this weekend because it's a long weekend. a well deserved break. but, no, some people don't like holidays. and i have to suffer for it (again). if you want to see me, you can drop by TR154 at 1030 on Monday. yes, that's because apparently it's standardized that all AA101 tutors want to have it on that day. well, apparently there aren't that many AA101 tutorials on that day because i've not heard anyone else from other classes complaining that they have to be back in school. what a bummer. i guess people who made us sit in class for 2 hours in school on hari raya would have no qualms doing the same for deepavali. what was i thinking?

alright, that leaves me with a normal 2 day weekend. that's ok right? sure, if not for my AA101 group project (i fear for all of us. at this rate we'll flunk. time to pull it together guys!) and my IT business plan (yes the 20 page one). oh yea, not to mention my comm fund oral assessment. all 3 of the above items will be graded and make up a significant part of each module's grades. great. not to mention the tutorials for monday's lessons will have to be done.

and i seriously need to pick up my paycheck. that sum of money has been sitting in the A/P of my previous employer for way too long. i need to do some shopping. the zip on one of my berms broke. time to get a new pair. it sucks to be a student when you are broke, overworked and under-rested

if only that was all. sigh. what to do when a strong competitor arises?

i guess it's time to get some rest before working myself overtime and devoid myself of enjoyment for the next 2 days. good night~

Crisis! Hell(-ish) week begins!

2 days since the semester resumes and i've already got work up to my neck and it's all due to happen within the next 7 days! here's the lodown:

1) Comm fund written assessment tomorrow!

2) FM tutorials to be done by Friday!

3) Accounting Quiz to be done during weekend!
(they just told us today and we have like 4 days to study?!)

4) Biz law assignment (20% weightage) due on Monday!
(i've been at it since last thursday and i'm only 75% done)

5) Biz law tutorial presentation on Monday!
(our 3rd group member abandoned us so i'm left to run a 2 man show with my friend)

6) Access assignment due on next Tuesday! (it's a real pain to do)

i'll really need to allocate whatever time i have carefully bearing in mind practices here and there. phew hopefully i'll survive this week unscathed. alright, no more time to spare, cya~

Recess! Time to do some reflection and look beyond...

Alright, it's recess week! (already?) yup, that means half of my 1st semester in ntu has already passed. time really flies. in a few more weeks it's going to be the exams. not to mention the various projects and assignments i will need to submit very soon. but before all that, i think i should spend some time reflecting on the weeks that had already passed and see what learning points there are.

ok, as a recap, things started out pretty much in a slump but fortunately things are starting to look better. hall is damn happening and it's lots of fun getting involved. and for some strange reason, class does seem somewhat interesting (though that doesn't really prevent myself getting into a daze during lectures. lectures just have this myterious effect which gives you an "out of body" experience. lmao) especially after i got rid of that tutor with a damn lousy attitude. my current FM tutor is at least 10x better than her.

i'm really thankful for the people around me that i've got to know. i really hate being alone and i need people to hang out with. hall is where i've really got to spend time with some really great friends. one thing i realized is that (at least in class context) nbs people tend to be rather competitive (i'm not excluding myself because i honestly have no idea how i behave in class) and because of this it's quite difficult to know them better (less group mates and some people who have a lot of tutorial classes in common with me). but i guess it's ok, it's something i can live with. but i MUST emphasize that people from hall 3 rock! haha.
(well, an exclusion clause applies to certain people in ntu who are plain annoying. there aren't many but there are still a few. hahaha)

ok, after retrospection, it's time to look into the future. let's start with the not-so-distant future. some things i plan to do by this week
1) finish my holiday assignments
2) file my notes and tutorials by module
3) do my reading up from textbook and other readings
4) not to forget to squueze in some fun

hmm....maybe i should look at the upcoming events as well
1) prepare for cult night
2) cult night
3) mug for exams
4) EXAMS!
5) trainings for the various sports and games
6) HO!
7) christmas~*
hmm...looks like it's going to be tiring but a very enriching few months coming up. oh ya! i'm going to upgrade my phone after exams. maybe can start checking out what phone to get soon.

the jubeat ripples OST that was just released is super addictive! my only goal for jubeat now is to unlock shining star and full combo it on all levels. but it's going to take a while. probably after exams.

alright, that's all the time i have for now. going back to hall later. going to camp in hall and mug the whole week (at least most of it). cya!

Ripples! New horizons...

In case you haven't noticed, my blog has a new layout! this time it takes after the latest installment of jubeat, jubeat ripples which has an overall light and bubbly feel to it.

hmm....the waves seem to be calming down and i guess i'm somewhat getting out of the emo trap. let's just hope start things start picking up from here eh?

putting unhappy things aside, i took some time to go through stuff that actually happened in retrospection. the past few weeks have been a blur and i'm not expecting it to be letting up anytime soon. i already see the hordes of projects coming up. the thing that have affected me the most is the people that i have met in the past month or so. it hasn't been a particularly long time but we've been through quite a lot together. people have been around when i've been feeling down and i really appreciate it (even though sometimes i don't look like it. haha.). i hope to be there when i'm needed as well. the direction where things are headed are slowly becoming clearer as well and that's definitely a good thing.

recently i found that i have less time for gymming but i guess playing more sports (or trying to) in hall kind of makes up for it. i'll try to still go during weekends and i'll try to squeeze in a session during the week. i'm signing up for the Nike human race and i hope to get some training here in campus. (trust me, the 179 route is a killer. the slopes are just crazy)

anyway, last night we had our Hall III dinner and dance, sin city! it was a blast! everyone dressed up in their formal wear. the girls really put in a lot of effort in dressing up with make-up and everything. it was casino themed so we had some tables opened. no real money was involved though. we played with chips and those who won the most from each game stood a chance to get a prize. as usual, my luck was terrible and i practically lost everything. we also had our pageant. jonathan won hall king and mr photogenic BUT he still lost his bet for not winning mr popular. as such, we'll get to see the hall king run around NTU in his boxers. hahaha.

here's a shot of all of us after the pageant

we'll be having IBG floorball tonight. hopefully we won't get trashed like what happened for basketball. i think that the things that you do in hall will be with you for a long time and for now i'll try to make the most of it. there's definitely more to uni life than just studying.

having said that, let's not neglect our academics and maybe i should go mug a little and then take a quick nap before dinner and IBG later. so, that's all for now. cya! :)

edit: just tried registering for the nike human race and the registration is full. sian.

The long awaited return...

first of all i have to say i'm sorry for my long hiatus. things got going and i just didn't have the time to stop and update this place anymore.

so, why my sudden return? well, i guess sometimes you just need some alone time and rant. and hopefully someone will read this by chance and maybe get an idea of what's really on my mind and what's going on in my life. i mean sometimes people say i get too defensive when i try to share some thoughts with them. and i've noticed that it's a trend recently to give very harsh remarks to people in a vulnerable state. (less some good friends of course)

honestly things haven't been going so well. the most significant starting point was......NBS camp, or rather the rejection. it is highly speculated that this highly elusive camp accepted campers based on the photo attached to their application form. ok, so i took a photo and attached it to the form and submitted it. after weeks of waiting in anticipation, there was no notification. you could say i was really really disappointed (especially because one of my seniors was actually a chief GL and he kinda said he would pull me in). i must emphasize it was a great disappointement for me. oh well, i eventually tried to get over it. then i happened to see photos from the camp............i mean seriously.........somehow i doubt that they looked at the photos this year because of the overwhelming response rendered them unable to find the time to do so. it's not a generalisation but you see some of the campers and you think to yourself "...seriously?" (eventually i convinced myself that my application got lost in the mail. i know, i'm a little dillusional)

alright, let's put the whole NBS camp saga behind us. I still went for hall camp which was great fun. the good thing is that i made some very close friends. ok, let's fast foward a little to the events that took place a little more recently.

a few weeks ago we had interblock games, the first week was sports and the second was recreational games. it was an experience that made it dawn upon me that i suck. i can't play sports or recre games. ok, maybe i haven't found my niche, fine.

yea, last week was the campaigning period for JCRC. the week started last sunday from 2pm onwards. we painted banners (some of us by ourselves, some of us had plenty of help and some of us maybe just came a little late). by the time we ended it was, 2am or so? yup. subsequently we went door to door various times to get people to come down for rally or to give out our flyers. during the rally, i gave my best effort and showed the most genuine side of me. well, i guess all the sleepless nights and the effort i put in was still wasn't enough. my competition won by 20+ votes. little? a lot? that's for you to decide. yea it was a great experience but a loss is a loss. and now i'm faced with a daily reminder of my loss. i don't even know which subcomm to join or wether to join at all. i feel so lousy.

the very next day Han Yuan managed to convince me to give softball a try. i told him that i'm really bad at ball games but he insisted that as long as i'm willing to learn things will be fine. so i decided that i should make an effort to try. but when i told this to some friends, one particular person put me down really fast. it was something like "but you have no ball sense, how are you going to play softball". very encouraging indeed.

ok, so i made full use of the opportunity i had to join a cca that i really wanted to join, dragonboat. rowing was plenty of fun albeit i'm still a bit stiff (damn those band days where we had to sit in a posture as though there was a yardstick down our shirts). the land training composed of various components, gym (with barbells), running, pull-ups and medicine ball training. lifting weights is still somewhat ok for me because i've been gyming . but i'm a total flop when it came to the running, medicine ball and pull-ups. today was the first time i ran with the team in school. the running almost killed me especially with the hilly terrain in NTU with numerous incidence of uphill running. alright, i did say almost, so i managed to survive the running (lagging rather far behind from the rest though). next up medicine ball training. i barely caught my breath when we started and anyone who knows me well enough know that i'm terrible when it comes to balls, not to mention i was already almost out of breath. but miraculously, i somehow managed to survive. next up, pull-ups. i was surprised that i could still do my first set of 10 pull-ups with ease. but that's the end. by the time i finished my 2nd set, i was feeling so light-headed. i was seeing white and i could have sworn that i was very close to fainting. what a total embarassment. well, next week we are going to have trials and they are going to cut the team size. i will definitely put in my best effort, but that's no guarantee that i will be able to stay, considering i'll be such a burden. i'll definitely try to improve but will i be able to do so fast enough? we are talking about a competitive sport here. given the chance i would definitely want to strive towards competition level.

seriously, after i get cut i will have no idea what to do next. academic-wise, things don't look too bright either. i think i totally flopped the accounting quiz today. it's a very conceptual quiz and i think i still made a mess out of it. i did study for it ok. and when i tried doing my FM tutorial today i was completely stuck. i guess i'm not good at anything. sigh.

also, all this while i've been preparing for my driving test this saturday. personally i'm still pretty unconfident of my driving skills. i think the simple stuff like the crank course will just kill me. the circuit is really a nightmare. driving on the main roads is still ok but i don't know if i can even make it outside of CDC. God please save me.

i've been putting in so much effort for so many different things at different times but nothing seem to be working out for me. i really don't want to be a loser but i can't help feeling like one. as i meet failure after failure and continue to be faced by the prospect of failing again, i just feel so very jaded. along the way i've lost pretty much self-esteem. i wonder when will things start turning around, but i'm afraid i still haven't reached rock bottom yet.